Personal Responsibility for Happiness

How do we maintain a sense of balance in life in today’s busy, materialistic culture? My Christian upbringing tells me “the Truth will set you free.” So what is the Truth and it’s relevance for the twenty, thirty and forty-something’s whose developmental task according to Erikson is to find intimacy and be productive, so we can make our contribution to society?

Ultimately people choose to be happy: to find the silver lining in each cloud. If you continue to wait for happiness to arrive, you will be waiting a long time and wondering why you are not happy yet. You are responsible for creating a life that makes you feel happy, accepting the life you have, and finding the joy in each moment.

“The happiness that is derived from some secondary source is never very deep. It is only a pale reflection of the joy of Being, the vibrant peace that you find within as you enter the state of nonresistance.” (Tolle, 156)

Some people do not take pleasure in their time alone. However, we need to stay connected to ourselves. When we are too busy, or always around others, we may lose perspective on what is most important to us. Taking some down time allows us to focus, think things through and be more aware of our choices. I have learned that down time, time I spend alone and contemplative restores me emotionally and spiritually, helping me stay honest with myself, and on the path that is best for me. We must be true ourselves first. Without this commitment we cannot be true to others. As stated in Act I, Scene III, of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Self- awareness is necessary in order to “own your part” in conflict with others. It is easy to blame others for our pain, avoiding personal responsibility, yet as adults we have the power to choose who we relate to and how we relate to them. We must empower ourselves to take responsibility for our choices and let go of trying to change others. It takes courage to admit our faults and to recognize we have the ability to shape our own lives.

While limitations exist and there are things beyond our control, we can always turn things around for ourselves if we are creative and brave. When we are honest, and have the integrity to do the right thing, even when it is difficult, we discover solutions we can feel happy about. We need to challenge ourselves, stop blaming others and see what we can do to create change. Mahatma Gandhi led by example and persuades us to “Be the change you want to see in the world.” This is essential to personal growth.

Bibliography:

Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now. Novato, CA: New World Library, 1997.